I've seen better days, but I've also seen worst. I don't have everything that I want, but I do have all I need. I woke up with some aches and pain, but I woke up.
My life may not be perfect, but I am blessed.

Thursday, 27 June 2013

Thinking...

I've been thinking a lot during my trip back to Sarawak. It's been long and maybe, I was selfish. Since she took so long just to find my blog, I guess she was really 'on' about it and I shouldn't deny her the chance? I'm really sorry for my childish and selfish behavior. I'll unlock this blog.. I didn't consider the time you spent and the determination it took to find this. I'm really sorry! :( I was being selfish and you got hurt in the process. Pardon me for my insensitivity and failure at thinking about others.

On a side note, I do admit that I take really long to accept reality and let things sink in. Maybe it's just my weakness, and yep, I'm trying to try to get over things faster (if I even make any sense). And I just realized that hope-forabettertomorrow and live-forthelittlethings have the same number of alphabets, that's like sooo cool, hehe.

And I really LOVE crabs. And I realized that they do teach us life lessons as well! When you put many crabs in a basket and tie them, they'll try to get out. They'll try their best to get out, and once they're on the verge of getting out, they get pulled back again. It's so true in our daily lives. Sometimes, when we try to go ahead of our peers and do our own things, people will pull us down, people will tell us that we're not good enough, people will lead us onto the wrong road. And we get poked, pushed, pulled and in the end, we are tired, we get weary, but we accept it and follow. We want acceptance. But we've got to be strong and persevere, we've got to stand up for what's right, we got to believe. I've been trying so hard to be myself, to not be influenced by the wrong people. Sometimes, the constant struggle in life is not to lose yourself, yeah, I'm trying..

And when you're eating crabs, the shell is really hard, and you've got to break open it in order to eat the sweet and soft flesh inside. I suffered many blisters on my index finger in my attempt to eat the crab and Anna jiejie was so nice to crack it for me. In life, if we want to be successful, to reach our dreams, we've got to break open many 'shells', we've got to suffer, but determination will get us there. We've got to FIGHT for what we really want, and overcome all obstacles that come in our way, even if it means getting injured, hurting, but these sacrifices will be worthwhile. The taste of success is sweeter that you'll ever imagine. And I really hope that I would be able to endure, to pull through, to emerge successful. Pain in temporary, but success is everlasting. True though, but I also cannot neglect my spiritual life in the process, and balancing isn't really easy. Although there will surely be helplines along the way, like how Anna jiejie helped me, but in the end, it's how much you want something that you are willing to put in the equivalent amount of effort to reach your goals.

Well, I don't really know if this makes sense, cause this thought flashed across my head as I was resting after 10 crabs were in my tummy. I just hope that it serves as a motivation for me to strive harder in both my spiritual and academic life. Hope all works out well..

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