Hopeful..

Just had tuition. Laoshi told me that I look more worn out and tired. Usually I'm not the kind of person who will be scared and afraid of exams and whatnots and I take things easily (according to her), I don't know if it's a bad thing or a good thing.. But she said she was really surprised. She said I look so stressed out and that I should take a break and maybe sleep earlier, HAHA..

But yeah, gotta admit that I've been sleeping really late nowadays. I'm so scared, and really afraid of what the future might hold. That's not really the main point, but I guess it's a contributing factor.

I just hope for things to return to normal, to live like before, to sleep and eat and enjoy life. BUT FAT HOPE. I know I'm just going to seem like a normal kid, smiling and seeming like I'm living a carefree life, but in reality, I'm not. Behind the smile and carefree lifestyle, hides a vulnerable me, hides a scared little kid. I still remembered Arina drawing a picture for me with the words 'Plastered smile'. I didn't really understand what she was going through then, maybe cause I'm forever one step behind everyone in terms of maturity. But yeah, I kinda understand a bit now..

HAHA, on a brighter note, I still remembered Qiaoxu telling me and Wendy on my birthday that the both of us are so old, yet we're the most childish and immature, HAHA. Gotta admit it's kinda true. I like it this way, though, HAHAHA

I think I've truly gotten over the incident now.. I don't really mind people reading this now, HAHA, life's isn't really how I've expected it to be, and maybe it's the imperfections that makes life more worthwhile. And I'm terribly sorry for being selfish, and not putting myself into the shoes of others. I know life's not going to be smooth, but I'll be fine. I really feel like texting someone, but nope, I'm not going to start a conversation. I think I'll spam the first person who texts me with my life, HAHAHA

I'm feeling exceptionally happy and excited now, I don't really know why. Maybe it's because there are people out there who sincerely care for me. I know it isn't easy to keep up with the life of so many people, but I think I'm still doing great! :) YAYYYYYYY, I THINK I'M GOING HIGH!!!! Maybe I should be patient and wait for the first person who texts.. AWAITING IN THE PROCESSSSS!! :))