I don't really know, and I still have a phobia of opening up this blog to the world.. I'm still thinking of what my image has become of, how my life is so screwed when secrets are exposed.. I'm going to be judged every single day of my messed up life, XUANQI, why are you so messed up now?
I don't really want to be prefect, and i admire being imperfect, cause it has given me much more than i had expected. I don't really hate anyone, but my stupid self.. Maybe this is all part of this nonsense called GROWING UP.. Life's not really looking positive right now, but i still hold on to that little faith that it's going to get better.. I miss you, hope-forabettertomorrow, only when you're gone that I truly understand what it really means to hope and believe..
"My life isn't perfect, but I am grateful", yes, I am so grateful to everyone who has entered my life and impacted in, no matter how small, cause a small action goes a looooong way.
"God gave you this life because you're strong enough to live it", and I thank Him for this every single day. Thank you Lord for giving me this life, for creating me and making me your masterpiece. Thank you for never judging and being ever so forgiving.. Thanks for your sacrifice and your everlasting love. I would never be able to fully understand your love for me and how great you are. I'm eternally grateful to you for this and I hope to have a great relationship with you. Thank you for loving me and always being there for me. I will rely on you to provide for me and lead me onto the path you have planned for me. I love you and I plead with you to get me out of this misery. But if it's your will that I suffer, I'll gladly accept and thank you for this, for through this, I would become stronger. I pray that I'll be more generous and patient, sacrificing to become more like your Son. I thank you for everything, and I LOVE YOU. <3
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