HAPPY SWEET 16 KEETHAN ^^

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEETHAN!!

I hope that you had a blast today! Thank you for being platoonmates for 4 years. We've been through so much together. And I still remembered the time when we were swagging when we're in diam, HAHAHA. And the time when you accompanied me to disturb Rachel and we were swagging like brothers, hehe. Thanks for being such a hilarious friend and for all the memories.

Good luck for Os! This year passed by so fast. Endure till Nov and we can continue swagging with Delta, haha. And let's have fun during the 'chalet', yearning for good times to come back. ANDD, I don't know what to get for you as your birthday gift?! ahh, helpp!

LOVING TODAY

I love today! Jo told me that she wasn't going today, so I decided not to as well! YAY, we're buddies forever! Loveya Jo..

So I had lots of time to sleep and awoke quite late. But I still loved today, was quite productive. And my ex cadets wanted to study with me, like err, WHUT?!?! I'm not even in school, HAHAHA. And even if I was, the atmosphere would be like just so awkward and no one would be able to do their work in peace. Okay, but I'm glad I am still able to help through whatsapp. Let me revise my already forgotten Sec 1 stuff.

Hello Alpha! :)

Okay, I think I'm having withdrawal symptoms. First Monday with no activity feels weird. I hope to get use to this soon! And to my dear Alpha, I'm sorry for your late ROD gifts. I've got it ready, okayy. But I think the cards are too ugly, so I'll have to redo. I hope to make a nice one for you all. The first one was a failz.. Okay, I'm really looking forward to CHALET TERRACE NIGHT!! We'll have fun, I hope. And I hope that I won't be too awkward. There will be so much food!

HAHA, I know you all want this photo. There's another one, actually. But I shall just post one.

To DELTA'13 I LOVE YOU GUYS!! We're BORN FOR VICTORY, forever and always! :)

MYEs craze

I feel so overwhelmed these days leading up to MYEs. I'm honestly scared. I haven't really started studying and I'm really horrible. I'm hoping to be able to finish all my homework and STOP PROCRASTINATING!! I really hope to do decently well and at least improve. I don't want to be a disappointment anymore :( Just leave all my worries to HIM and it would seem so minute. I'll put everything in your arms, and let your will be done.

Yes, I hope to persevere no matter how difficult times are getting. Honestly, there are times where I really feel like giving up. I feel like everything I'm doing is no use. But I do believe miracles will happen. Thank you for all your encouragements, Alpha. I'll do my best. I'll never settle for anything less than my best.

THE BEST BREAKFAST

Today was the last day of Crezunite week. WE HAD BREAKFAST AS A CLASS!! I was looking forward for this as we could finally EAT!, hehe :) We had roti prata, mud cake, Milo, Bee hoon, Cheesecake and much more!! And I felt so FULL after breakfast. Never had such a full breakfast before. Breakfast was usually the most insignificant for me, even though I know that it's the most important meal of the day.. Okay, felt SO SUPER sleepy after that very full meal. Can't believe that I actually fell asleep, like really asleep during Biology. HEHE, Wendy and I just dozed off and we were in dreamland zzz... HAHA, and bobz tried to wake us up, but we were too soundly asleep, according to our classmates. HAHAHA, #umglamttm. But today was great!

And WL, that - talk so loud in the canteen. And why would i hate them if they greet me? It's something they are supposed to do.. They are doing the right thing and what's expected of them. They take pride in what they are doing, and I'm proud of them. If you find them annoying or cannot stand the noise, too bad luhh. But I think greetings are to acknowledge your presence and I'm not ashamed of it at all. Too bad that you all won't get a chance to experience it, don't jealous... And hate is a strong word, why use it so often? Spread love, don't hate. Love your enemies as your neighbors!

A quite productive day

Ended at 1.30pm today. SO EARLY!! :)

Went to the library with Kylie, Jiali, Keethan and Jo to work. Quite productive, actually. Then I went up to class to get my phone which was charging and went downstairs to give Rachel something..

And I met my ex cadets today and we had fun! Keethan and I were like swagging like swag brothers, HAHAHA!! Okay, and we attempted to throw rubbish and grass on Rachel. We had real fun, right bro? /nods heads/. Okay, and we got chased away by Rachel, sobs :(

Went back to class to collect Crezunite shirt for Kylie, Jiali, Keethan and Jo and to the library to collect my bag, since these mean people left my bag there :( Then my ex cadet called me down to take photo, and I also had lunch at the same time. Oooh, they remembered about me?! I thought they forgot about me liaoz.. hehe, but they didn't!

And we had games too! Although my ankle hurt cause I wasn't wearing my own shoes (accidently wore my sister's shoes today, HAHAA). But I had fun! Sorry for being so awkward and whatnots. It's just that I don't really know if I'm being selfish since everytime they had TCS, I was there. I feel that I should let Rachel have some time with them as well! Luckily, I gave her some private time! Sorry Alpha, for not being the NCO that you wanted me to be/that you expected of me. It's just that I don't know if you all want to spend some time alone with Rachel. Although I know that you all do not feel this way, but I feel that I'm being selfish if I am always there and not let Rachel have a chance. I really don't know if it's being selfish. I really don't and I'm really sorry, Alpha..

My personality is S. It stands for being shy, super nice, and maybe socially awkward too, hehe. But honestly, I don't let people in very easily, but once I let someone in, I hold that person very closely. Betrayal hurts me a lot. I really regard friends/those i let into my life very specially. It's a different thing and I'm sorry for not being open. I'm really afraid of people judging and whatnots. It's because of somethings I went through in my life. Unless you're in, you won't really know.. Sorry, God made me like that and I'm seeking ways to improve myself. Sorry for being a loser. I just don't get anything right. I just can't express what I'm really feeling. I just don't do what I planned. I just don't dare to speak what's in my mind. I'm sorry. I'll improve myself.

I'm imperfect, but I'm grateful for my life!! :)

A crap day..

Amath test was just crapp. I couldn't do like half of the questions, but HAHAHAA, i managed to figure it out anyways.. #luckykid97

So super screwed for oral. I can't believe what i just crapped out. I prepared, but when the teacher is staring right at you, I get super nervous. Okay, and i was stuttering like mad and my mind was blank. SO SUPER SCREWED!! Sorry laoshi! :(

And I'm still pondering if I should stay back tomorrow.. I really want to, but I don't know if I should. I feel that every time we have TCS, it's always me, and Rachel would be missing in action. So I don't really know if i should let Rachel have time alone with you all. It's not that I don't want to stay, but I personally feel that I should let Rachel have some time with you all instead of it always being me. It's just my personal opinion, as I don't know if it's selfish of me? HOW?? Should I stay?? I really don't know, and it's not like you all would understand how I feel. I don't know if I'm being selfish, but I also REALLY want to stay..

Okay, maybe I'm just being emo due to oral, but SHOULD I STAY?

BYD 2013

BYD yesterday.. I looked just a sight, and my hair was a poof! Okay, but it was fun!! It's our last, but i loved it! Took plenty of photos :)

Had an awkward recess today.. Why must you cheer and laugh so loud, WENDY GAN?!?! I felt so embarrassed . Okay, quite awkward too!! Emath Mock test was just a screw up man..

Tomorrow have chinese oral, amath test, and one million more homework to be done.. So screwed! HELP!! Okay, this post is so short and meaningless..

AWKWARDNESS...

Today was just awkward. I really didn't know what to do. I had wanted to talk, but I was too awkward to start a conversation. I wanted to get to know how to felt, but due to my silence in nature, i didn't dare. I'm sorry, Alpha.

HAHAHA, we took so many pictures together!! And i purposely tagged you all inside, and you all also don't dare untag right? It was fun just being with you all. Thanks for today and sorry for wasting your time. Okay, Karen and I had another adventure. WL, she made me run like the wind sia. So fast. I was having stomachache due to lack of food since I didn't eat anything. KAREN THIS WOMAN AHHHH!! :( Okay, I guess she had good intentions as well, to save me from being stalked, HAAHAH Okay, I got this like just yesterday and I'm totally okay with it since I have my plans too! :) Since Karen asked the Part Bs to stop and let us cut in front of them, i guess i gotta say A big THANK YOU to the Part Bs for trying to help your Senior Karen and I. Although I don't really mind them walking behind me, cause there's nothing that they can do. Okay, today was great! :)

ROD.

Last activity yesterday. Too drained to type anything, so I shall post about it today! :)

ALPHA 1 BECAME ALPHA on 11th April 2013!!

I know that you all were so surprised and shocked, HAHAHA. Congratulations on your promotion, Alpha. You all deserved it. Don't ever doubt your abilities and what you all can achieve as a part. Work together and EXCEL WITH PRIDE. The reason why we have never left even though times might get tough is because we have never given up on all of you. We see potential and believe that you all can do better. YOUR BEST is yet to be. Good job, Alpha! You've earned it through hard work.

Then, ROD parade drew close.. The parade was a mixed of emotions. First was the reporting of strength. As I faced my cadets, I could see many crying. DON'T CRY!! Okay, I tried my very best to stare somewhere else and control the tears. I won't let myself cry in front of them. I had to be strong! I was trying, but kinda failz.. Okay, then the receiving of ranks. I banged like the most number of times, but after every person went up, I was counting down, counting the number of bangs I had left. My leg hurt, but it was worth it.

Then it was time.

We had to hand over. I could hear sniffs and cryings from my EX cadets, i could see them cry. I wanted so much to comfort them, but I couldn't. I wanted to tell them that it's alright. Things happen, people leave. I wanted to say so much, but I was reduced to silence. I didn't talk. I kept everything inside - the tears, the sadness, the memories, everything. Thank you for the pizza and the notes. Thank you for always supporting us and appreciating what we do. We are so immensely proud of you all and you all can be sure of that. We are EVER READY to say/shout/scream 'WE ARE PROUD TO BE YOUR NCOS'. Work hard to achieve the numerous things, strive hard together. Although we will not be able to follow you through your whole NC life, we will be supporting you all mentally. Do us proud, Alpha. We believe in you.

Then as Seniors, we cried. We had passed out. We endured through EVERYTHING - from our first solid bang, promotions, earning of collar pins, to taking over, WE WENT THROUGH HAPPY TIMES TOGETHER. From the hands-on-the-ground, the scoldings, the RODs, FSD competition, WE WENT THROUGH SAD TIMES TOGETHER. We survived through 4 years together, through all the thick and thin, through happy times and sad times. We encouraged each other to carry on no matter how difficult times were getting. We relied on each other when we needed help. We had conflicts, but resolved them and made up. And most importantly, we bonded as 1. We are a family, with 2 parents and 15 brothers. WE DID IT! And now that it's all over, all we can do now is reminisce the past, laugh at ourselves, cry because it's over, but most importantly, MOVE ON.. All we have now are memories which we will cherish forever. Thank you for everything you have done for me, Delta. You have shaped me and influenced me to become better than who I was. You corrected my mistakes and forgave. You were there when I needed you. You encouraged, inspired and motivated. Thank you for everything you have done for me, Delta. Sorry for being a high -pitched timer. Sorry for the silly mistakes I've made. Sorry for being always forgetful. Sorry for not allowing you all to become timers due to my quick reaction time. I'm sorry! Never forget that we are BORN FOR VICTORY, forever and always. I love you DELTA'13.

Part outing with ALPHA 1 '13

YAY!! I had been waiting for this for soooo long. Okay, so I had Chinese in the morning, and lunch at Commonwealth with Wendy! Headed to Harbourfront for the start of a mysterious adventure.

When I reached, dear partner had just barely left her home, tsktsk.. When I was going up the escalator, I had a feeling that people were staring, so I looked up, and guess what? There were like 37423894874 eyes staring at me. Actually, I had wanted to go up there to sit down, but I was too afraid. And i thought to myself 'Even if I go up there, the atmosphere would be just AWKWARD' and Rachel was not there.. If she was, she would most probable be talking to herself and the cadets would be like just stoning there. Not productive, but it helps me to break the awkward silence. So I headed to the taxi stand and stood there for what seemed like AGES (45mins) to wait for dear partner. Legs were kinda sore, and I so regret not going up there to get by butt a rest.

Okay, so we headed in and the games! Loved it. We joked, we laughed, we got sandy, we got wet. It was enjoyable. I've never laughed so hard since idk when.. And I didn't expect you all to plan games, like woah.. Okay, and I kinda loved the games, and the hilarious moments, which were just crazyyyy.. Thanks Alpha 1! :)

And I think the truth or dare question was kinda a failzxc, cause firstly, i didn't even tell the truth, HAHA.. And why would an NCO even wanna EG her own cadets, that's like just weird and rare. Anyways, I did not have much time to think of my answer, so I just anyhow crapped out mine. But thinking about it, the real truth would be 'the first 3, middle 3, last 3 and non of the above' HAHA, yep! Such a chim answer, i know..

And dinner was good! Okay, of course dinner would be good for pigs like me. Yep, I'm such a big fat pig, yes I know.. I was so exhausted, tired, no energy when I got home that I just bathed and fell asleep after doing some work. Sec 4 life sucks, I know. But at least I know that there are people supporting me. And to those who are also going through SEC 4 life, endure! We'll pull through this year together!!

On a side note, I think MSG TAN RONG YING is so super disgusting and gross OKAYY..

What a day...

I kinda liked today since I got to skip Chinese and the 130 成语听写 which would literally kill me. Woah, and I think that Queenstown PDS quite zai, but they're not such a well-known school, though. And there's one guy who looks exactly like HaoJen (quoted by Rachel). He dropped his rifle, like what the crapp.. But their spinning quite nice!

Was quite disappointed today. I don't know whether I should just give up. The temptation is high. I really want to just close both eyes, let mistakes fly by and just take things as they are. Just let things be however it is right now. I really don't feel like doing anything since nothing changes no matter what I do. Feels as though my efforts are such a waste. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I'm tired. Tired of waiting for replies to SMSes, tired of having to pay for mistakes, tired for reminding and reminding even when I know it changes nothing, tired of trying my best to reply as soon as I can, just really tired of everything. Maybe it's because the workload is doubling at blasting speed, maybe it's just the lack of sleep, or maybe I'm just not cut out to be an NCO. But I really can't bring myself to this. I keep reminding myself and convincing myself that things will change for the better. I know it will, and that's what pushes me forward everyday. Things will get better..

We are a major source of help for some who are willing to learn and we really acknowledge your effort and your willingness to learn. Do continue learning with your positive attitude, it will do you good in the future. To be honest, we have been through all these before, we know all the tricks you all would come up with, so it's not difficult to make a smart guess. And those who do not want to use the opportunities we give them wisely, you are just shortchanging yourself and others won't get that opportunity as well. I really do hope that you will seize every opportunity and do your very best.

I'm having mixed feelings about tomorrow. I really want to enjoy myself with dear partner!! Rach thinks that we should not waste our efforts on those who are unwilling to learn. I kind of agree, and I really want to help those who want to learn. Even if you are a slow learner or are slower than the rest, at least you are willing to put in the effort, we will be there to help you through. I really appreciate those who put in the effort. They make Rach and my efforts worth it. But sometimes, Rach and I feel that if you don't want to try your best, why should we give you our best? It's tiring on our part and you're not gaining anything. Well, being an NCO is was never an easy job. Since the Seniors trusted me for this job, I guess I should put in my best nevertheless.

JUST A MEGA SHOUTOUT TO CHARLIE!!

Thanks Charlie'12 for always being there for me. We shared the laughter, we shared the tears. We struggled together, we earned our victory together. Thanks for making me who I am today. Okay, this is an impromptu message and I'm stuck! I LOVE YOU CHARLIE'12. Thanks for the beautiful memories!

'If someone sticks by you through your worst times, they deserve to be with you through your good times'

YAY!! Tomorrow only got SPAs (Bio and Phy).. Luckily Sebastian Goh has excel fest, so Chem's gone. And there's AFFIRMATION, aka missing Chinese. LOVING IT!!! When I realized that I had to miss Chinese, i need not learn the 130 words for tingxie for tomorrow!! YAY!!!

Okay, I'm quite excited for Saturday, actually.

Screwed for tomorrow. So many tests and homeworks.... If only I knew how to manage my time better.

I really like the colour baby blue. I just realized it not long ago. My pencil case is blue, my file is blue, my planner is blue, my pens are blue... HAHAHA, okay, i think black is a cool colour too! Especially black backgrounds with gold and silver! (like my attendance list!)

Okay, and I really liked milo, iced milo to be exact. I just realized that I've been drinking it every other day. And i don't really know why but i get misunderstood very easily. It's not because I wanna be like that, it's because of the things we've been through in life that shape us and mould us into what we are today. I hope that you won't mind me just because I'm different. It's because of my life experiences that shaped me into what I am today.

And I really like 'When she Cries' by the Restless Heart. Although it's between a guy and a girl, i don't know why but the lyrics seem to have another meaning to me. Okay, it's not my favourite song, but I still find it quite nice.

On a brighter note, I am really excited for Saturday. Can't wait! I honestly don't know what they will be going to do. It seems like they are misleading us into believing something else.. Just my gut feeling. First it was roller coaster, then OM, then Vivo.. OKAY, so now what? Actually, deep inside, I'm expecting something, but I am really hoping that a surprise would take its place. Yep, I'm really expecting a surprise, and I'm just hoping that what I'm thinking is not the reality of what's really going to happen. I want to be really surprised and not expect it to happen at all. I'm just hoping that my wishes would come true~

APRIL'S FOOL TODAY!!

APRIL IS HERE!!

WOAH, time really flies sooo fast and it's April already! 1 April today and it did not seem like April's fool at all. So tired..

And we got back our Common Test results slip today, felt so demoralized. Maybe this is my wake-up call to STOP PROCRASTINATING and take things more seriously. I'm such an ass in my studies and a MEGA disappointment. Sorry, Mum and Dad. I promise to work much harder and do my best. This is definitely not the results I want to see on my O level certificate. I promise to work as hard as it takes to decrease my L1R5 and get better. I know that I can do it and I promise you that I will.

Okay, had fun during fun PT, but standards are dropping. HOW?? WHY?? I don't really know. Maybe it's because I'm such a lousy NCO. Maybe I should start helping them. But I really don't know how! If only I knew how to understand them better so as to be able to help them improve faster... But oh well, I still gotta do my best, even though deep inside, I'm really worried. I guess I just have to go with the flow of things and give them time. But we really don't have much time left.. Hope all goes well...