Screw her

Had a tiff with mei just now. I tried so much to be nice and everything and she was just being a total -. I so wanted her to just shut up and get lost, argh. Why is she so freaking annoying and a major hypocrite. She can just take my phone and use, yet no one can even lay a finger on her freaking phone. And she can just take whatever she needs from your desk and if you even get near hers, you'll get away with a beating. I just can't stand her anymore, what's wrong with her. Freaking idiot, argh, just spoilt my mood for the night.

I think Dad is getting from perculiar to weird to crazyyy, HAHAHA He's like planning to bring us for horse freaking riding this Sun. Are you crazy?! No way am I gonna sit on some furry hard scary living creature. The Australian experiences have killed me enough, sadly. Then go buffet. Everytime I eat buffet, I get reminded about the Brazilian one. $50/person, I heartache I tell you.. Then going to visit Aunt's new house and all. WOAHHH, this is like the most packed weekend, HAHAHAHAHA, I think I'm going mad

Tired because of today, but it has been great! Went back to HQ with Jo, Kyl, Jia, Keethan, Deb and Karen. Great catch up time and hilarious moments in the train with Jo, HAHAHAHA We alighted at the wrong stop because we overshot. We were like busy uncovering our new found mystery that we forgot all about our stop, HAHAHA Anyways, today has been great. Gonna stay up for X factor today

My purpose helps others

God will use everything in your life to help others. Think about Joseph. Bad things happened in his life. His brothers hurt him and sold him to Egypt. Joseph thought being in Egypt was bad, but it turned out to be good. He helped many people because he was in Egypt. God let the bad things happen because God knew that Joseph needed to be in Egypt to save food for everyone and keep them alive. God used every part of Joseph’s life to save other people.

Genesis 45:3-8 

Joseph spoke to his brothers: "I am Joseph. Is my father really still alive?" But his brothers couldn't say a word. They were speechless--they couldn't believe what they were hearing and seeing. "Come closer to me," Joseph said to his brothers. They came closer. "I am Joseph your brother whom you sold into Egypt. But don't feel badly, don't blame yourselves for selling me. God was behind it. God sent me here ahead of you to save lives. There has been a famine in the land now for two years; the famine will continue for five more years--neither plowing nor harvesting. God sent me on ahead to pave the way and make sure there was a remnant in the land, to save your lives in an amazing act of deliverance. So you see, it wasn't you who sent me here but God. He set me in place as a father to Pharaoh, put me in charge of his personal affairs, and made me ruler of all Egypt.

After the physics..

I decided to blog about today too! After Physics, it was a boring wait of 5 hours before the English LC. This 5 hours turned out real fun!

Went to ikea with Jo, Yigin, Nat, Qx and Arina. Treated ourselves to good food with good people to celebrate. Ate and ate and ate and ate. The chicken leg was so delicious and the signature meatballs, yumz..

Went back to school, then to the library for a nap. 1 hour nap. Brought my pillow to school so that I could sleep, but Qiaoxu stole it. Luckily there weren't many people or I'd be judged for my pillow, HAHA

Looking forward to DECEMBER!! Aunt bringing me to Bangkok! Then going for family holiday (as usual) to Korea!! I remembered we had a huge debate amongst ourselves cause they all wanted Australia and New Zealand, but I was so bent on not going there. It'll be winter in Korea and it'll be the first time I see/touch/feel ice, REAL ice!! I'm excited. Then going to Sarawak for my cousin's wedding, which I'm also excited. There'll be good food and hotel, HAHA and I really love the food in Sarawak. Everytime I go back, my aunts and uncles will cook my favourite same few dishes, yumz.. And spending Christmas at KL, I think, can't remember and didn't bother to find out the holiday dates.

I think we'll be having Christmas gift exchange with FOREVER HUNGRY as well!! Everyone's going to different countries like Turkey and Japan and China and Venice. I'm excited!!! :)

Can't wait for 15 Nov, the key to ultimate freedom..

It's party time!!

The journey of Os is almost over and it has truely been a roller coaster ride.

I remembered the 2 week break before the Os were the most stressful. I found myself doubting my capabilities a lot and the thought of maybe retaining so I would have more time. I remembered imagining myself sick or caught in a major accident or plagued with an illness so that I could retain and have more time for studying. The feeling of unpreparedness and doubt were constantly on my mind. But then again, I couldn't bear to see myself go through all that torture again. I was in a dilemma.

During Os, it was tiring. Mentally draining. I didn't realize that even doing Math would require so much energy. It was just draining me - physically, mentally, emotionally. I remembered AM. It was tougher than anyone had expected. I remembered fearing that I would not get an A1. It was a really bad feeling inside of me and the disappointments and let downs and not meeting expectations came back. I remembered crying so hard in the toilet and doubting myself a lot. I just wanted to quit, to give up. Luckily Grandma was there. She told me to stop focussing on the bad and maybe start focussing on the good. Why was I fearing when the papers aren't even marked? Why was I fearing when the results aren't out yet? But I just couldn't get that feeling out of me. I just couldn't stop thinking about it. It took many cryings in the toilet, where I could be by myself and expose a different side on me, a more vulnerable side, the emotional side. It took many self reflection - to let go and move on. I remembered PSLE, how I left 20 marks worth of questions blank because the paper was just TOO difficult, yet I could get an A*. It took constant reminders to stop pondering. It was a struggle. But finally, I managed to subdue the strong negative feeling and focused on the papers ahead.

Now, as the Os are ending (okay, not yet), I realized that it has been a bittersweet journey. It has not been easy, but thinking back, I'm glad I did it.